By the time we come to start forming our own ideas about life we have already been conditioned to invest in and live by certain beliefs that shape the way we operate. There are many areas that we are taught to have strong opinions and feelings about and one of these is love.
What we think love is is based on the concepts that have shaped our understanding of love from a young age and whilst some of these might be helpful to us, some of them might be preventing us from allowing ourselves to be loved by the people we are in relationships with.
In our love relationships, we deserve respect, kindness, support and consideration but when we have very rigid ideas about how another person should demonstrate these, rather than improving our relationships and appreciating the love we are offered, we might be missing out on connecting with the people who love us and enjoying the love they give.
Communication is key in relationships but as we all live by certain biases and beliefs, we experience life through certain filters that can make it difficult for us to understand and be understood by the people in our lives who love us. It can, therefore, be helpful for us to examine our ideas about what it means to be loved and what love looks like and ask ourselves if they are true, if they are helpful and even if they are our own.
Allowing ourselves to be loved means taking a fresh look at what love might be so that we can see when another person is doing their best to treat us with affection which they are also usually doing based on their own set of conditioned beliefs about what love is.
This never means we must make compromises that affect our sense of wellbeing, it means that we choose to let our wellbeing lead us in allowing ourselves to be loved rather than our limited notions of how, when, why and what love should be offered. This way we get to feel loved and enjoy love without refusing it because of a set of limiting principles that actually lead us away from experiencing it.
Love is who we are and although there are many times we forget this and those of us who are yet to remember, when we try to make the unconditional conditional we never end up where we want to be. When we instead trust ourselves to ask that our needs are met whilst examining anything that turns us away from allowing ourselves to be loved, we create healthy relationships that are not affected by ingrained beliefs that tell us love looks a certain way.
We are all unique and we will all offer a unique experience of love. When we stop trying to sort and label and box an energy to fit our unhelpful expectations we will find that love is all around us and available to us even from those we might have tensions with. When we decide to accept it and allow ourselves to enjoy it, whilst maintaining our right to be treated well, we never feel anything other than freer, more connected and more joyful because love does not fit certain moulds, rather it guides us to break out of them.