Once we become conscious of our behaviour, of our choices and actions and the motivations behind them, we naturally begin to shift patterns and evolve past certain ways of being that we see no longer serve us. And yet there are times on our journeys when we notice that we are repeating behaviour we are no longer invested in. If we can approach changing and reflecting on this from an open and non judgemental state of mind, we will be able to uncover what old subconscious beliefs we are still reacting to even though we no longer hold them.
When we do, we may not end the behaviour immediately as there is an element of comfort for the ego in what is known and familiar for us even if it is behaviour we have previously felt stressed by or unhappy about. Knowing this and allowing ourselves to notice when we feel obliged, compelled or triggered to engage in it without judgement can help us to become interested in what we do and why and allows us the distance to witness ourselves without emotionally reacting to our choices in the moment.
From here we can make the decision to consider what old thinking we are fuelling that makes us feel that old behaviours are justified or necessary which can help us to discover blocks to our evolution we didn’t know were in place. Often these are to do with feeling we are unworthy of the joy or happiness we have been experiencing or that we are not allowed to have an easy time of it and must prove somehow that what we have or are currently enjoying is deserved, hard won, not as others might judge it to be.
But how do we feel about our happiness? What do we think about enjoying our lives? Can we commit to allowing and inviting in good feeling so that we let go of more and more behaviours we no longer consciously agree with, feel we need or want to take part in? If we can and we do it with love and grace and awareness, when we notice ourselves repeating old behaviours we do not feel frustrated or upset or defeated, we simply take the opportunity to reflect on their reappearance and ground ourselves in the knowing that we can do differently in future.
Which we do over and again because we are designed to live from a state of wonder, to want to learn and transform and grow. Because it is fun to try new ways when we know we are safe to and we know we are safe to once we become aware of what we can do and who we can be and what resources are available inside of us. When we use this knowledge to deepen our understanding of what we are still holding onto, curiosity takes over and we give up on unhelpful thinking because we no longer see the benefit of getting emotionally entangled in reacting to it.
When we live this way, not only are we kinder to ourselves, more patient, more compassionate, more loving and more open, we show up for ourselves in a way we didn’t know we could before, witnessing our choices from a non judgemental standpoint that allows us to learn from them and choose differently in future. If there is no wrong, no bad, no terrible, we lift the weight of having to do things right and do things better because of this. And we start to realise who we really are more fully than we did before we started to repeat old behaviour because now we know we can be on our own side all of the time and in every circumstance.
Which brings us to understanding that we do not need to improve ourselves, we only need to wake up to who we really are. We only need to be guided by the wisdom within us that is always offering us the opportunity to evolve past what we do not want to continue into more healthy and happy people. Peace is within us. When we operate from peace we do not panic or condemn ourselves when we repeat old behaviour we are no longer invested in, we support ourselves as we reflect on the experience, willing to love ourselves as we learn our way through it.